I've always had the ambition to be a writer when "I grow up." I adore grammar and love filling a blank screen with words - but is it really for me? Is writing really what I want to do with the rest of my life?
What’s my alternative? Producing. I've watched the making of every movie that I own. The acting and shooting and piecing together of scenes fascinates me in a way that writing doesn't. It makes me wonder if I like writing but if I would love working in the video production field.
I feel like someone whose about to get married and is having second thoughts. "Is this the right guy? Is he the best that I can get? Is there another guy out there whom I would love more if I knew him?" Except I'm saying this about my career choice.
True, I'm in 11th grade so I shouldn't be this worried and nervous about it. But I've always been the one who has it all figured out. I'm going to do this, this, and this with my life, then I'll get married and do this, this, and this. That's me. I had definite plans. Now I wonder if I could have more.
Is writing something that is just meant to be my passion and not my career? Is producing just something that looks cool but I'd actually hate doing? Is this all a whim and something that will fade or is this a real interest?
It's so confusing to me mainly because I have no way of 'testing it out.' At least with writing, I can do it now. See if I like it. If I don't (which I do) then that idea would go in the trashcan. But how am I supposed to test out movie production to see if I like it?
Should I just stick to what I know -- to the status quo? (To borrow a line from High School Musical -- whose special features spurred this whole confusing whirlwind of emotions) Or should I explore other things. But how am I supposed to explore them?
God, what is your plan for my life? Is this whole movie production thing just a whim or something from my emotions, or is it from You? Please show me!
Esi
P.S. If anyone else feels this way or has any advice on pursuing producing please leave a comment.
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Career Confusion
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Have you ever considered trying to get an internship at a production company? You get experience and they get an extra pair of hands. Some internships will even compensate you. Start by "googling" internship + production companies. You might have to wait until you're a certain age, such as 18 but still, it's worth looking into.
And even if you land an internship somewhere and decide you totally hate the producing business, then you can always take what you learned and write about it! :-)
your friend,
Jade
Esi,
I am also a Junior in High School and for as long as I can remember my dream had been to become a child psychologist. It was like one of those early childhood dreams that you hear a kid vocalize... "I wanna grow up and be a nurse!" or "I wanna be a firefighter!"... So up until last year I was competely sure of what I wanted my future to look like. I can't really explain my desire other than that I wanted to help kids having a hard time and since (a little background for ya) my parents are foster parents (me and two other of my sibs are biological but we've had many babies come through our care and have adopted one child--my little brother Josiah)I have seen the effects of vioence in the home and what it does to kids. Anyway I had it planned out even to the college I would go to... then some reality hit me. I wasn't allowing any room for God to have a say in my future. Although I didn't realize it at the time, it was almost as if I were saying "Yeah sure I'll follow God's will as long as it's under my conditions." I was trying to to make my plans God's when it really shoulda been the other way around. All this to say, while in the process of figuring out what I wanted to do with my future, I talked to a friend who was doing the "40 Days of Purpose" study. I had done it a couple years before with my church but when she was telling me about it, something clicked. God gives us all talents and expects us to use them. He's not going to come down in a flash and say "YOU SHALL DO *insert profession here*!!!!" That's not His style. So I'd encourage you that if He has given you a talent for writing, go for it! A producer? Sure! Another thing I realized though is that just because I'm good with kids, doesn't mean that I should be a psychologist (as I quickly found out after having to take Algebra twice and receiving 3 D's in Chemistry). That doesn't mean I'm totally dropping the dream but I really believe that sometimes God gives us dreams and aspirations and lets us chase them for awhile until we're ready to submit to His will and, with prayer and determination, His will will become our dream. Another "older" (she's like 30) friend of mine put herself through college recently and is gonna do something different than what she majored in which, at first, really got on my nerves cause I thought "why spend all that time and money for nothing!" Until she said she doesn't regret it at all because she never would have figured out what direction God wanted her if she didn't cross out some of the options. It's okay to not be sure right now. Heck I have no clue now! So who knows! Maybe you end up being a writer FOR a major producer! Or maybe you become something totally different. But no matter what you end up doing, if you are in God's will, you will feel at peace about it. And though things won't always be a walk in the part, I'm sure you'll love doing it. Anyway, I hoped that helped some.
Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jade,
Thanks for the suggestion. I have thought about an internship, maybe the summer I move back to America. I'll have to pray and wait on God about it. :)
Esi
Thank you so much for your comment! It was really helpful. Since I posted God has really given me peace about lots of stuff. One thing He really communicated to me through the course of my travels was just waiting on Him.
I have plenty of time. I don't need to rush myself into college or into a profession - no I shouldn't be lazy - but I need to wait on Him and He will show me the way.
Amen!
Thanks again! and yes, I am homeschooled.
Esi
Post a Comment